Death Cab for Woody

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

On Notice - Week #8



You know I had a lot of reservations with moving to Seattle…being away from family, no more Buckeye games at the Shoe, moving away from my 2.25 friends.

Most of all, I thought that I would be devastated, as this was my first year that I did not have Bluejackets Season Tickets in old Section 213 Row G Seats 5&6. I mean, short of have the T-Shirt cannon never shoot anything to our section, and the single-game visit by the Pepsi girls (They always sent the ugly one…you know…the one that shouldn’t be a Pepsi girl..yeah…she was allocated to 213 each year)…I really thought I would miss it. The worst part is that we have sucked every year that I have been a season ticket holder.

However, after watching last night’s dismantling by the hands of an impressive San Jose Sharks team, I was glad that I wasn’t in Columbus. Happy, that I woudnt have to hear all of the excuses by Jeff Rimjob and the venerable GM DM. Glad that I wont have to hear the Wednesday call-in show on 1460 The Fan and listen how we have a good team and we are just in a funk.

This is the start of some candid commentary after watching the every game this season (with the exception of the Penguins game on Saturday).

I am going to skip games 1, 2 & 3 as they were not a true reflection of what is really going on with the CBJ this year. However, games 4, 5, & 6 will definitely generate some vitriol.

Over the last 3 games, the CBJ has looked lethargic. The team is not skating hard, the Blueliners have been deficient in basic hockey skill that should have been keened up in training camp, and the goaltending has actually been pretty good.

The forwards (with the exception of 4 players – Malhotra, Chimera, Fedorov (Inj.), and Zherdev) have been worthless. Dumping pucks into the corner and NOT SKATING HARD to get them has been the most consistent activity by the forwards so far in the this short season. Modin and Carter tend to glide into the offensive zone (Note to Freddy and Anson…the Sedin twins nor Brad Richards are on your line!) and it is just disgusting me to no end. Here is the other one….Why in the hell is Jody Shelley still playing. Havent we gotten enough depth that some of the younger forwards can take some ice time away from this guy. I know he is there for a purpose and that he has made strides to improve his game, but the fact remains that there are players in Syracuse that could make the 4th line somewhat formidable…and not such a joke like it is now. I feel sorry for players like Picard and Svitov, who are totally bogged down by the lumbering skating of Jody Shelley. Bring Platt back up. Have a line with some speed and size that can potentially create some scoring opportunities. OMG…ANGRY!!!

If I had it my way, this is what the forward lines would look like for the next 5 or so games…


If Modin and Carter want to get some more playing time, they will have to earn it. We need people that are willing to skate into the corners or willing to try and carry the puck into the offensive zone. I have seen neither from the Modin and Carter, and it makes Herringbone very sad. I am hoping that the return of Fedorov will help out some of the issues that the forwards have been dealing with in games 4-6, but he will need some time to get back in the swing of things. He is the unquestioned leader of the forwards

It has been nice to see what a frustrated Adam Foote would be like on the ice. He is cranky and throwing his weight around every chance he gets (legal or illegal). Tollefson…OMG Young guy that can barely skate. Klesla seems to be playing not to get hurt right now. Not throwing his weight around right now, which is understandable as he seems to get injured every time there is a atmospheric pressure change in the 614. Hainsey…proving to us why the Habs put him on the waiver wire. Last year, he was trying to prove himself. This year, he is just plain lazy. Can somebody tell me why we didn’t re-sign Suchy again? Westcott has been the best blue liner so far this year, and that is saying a lot.

You can t really change the blue line combinations, as we have got no one left.

Maybe we could spend some money and bring in a defenseman, instead of an overpriced forward (Not mentioning any names…Anson)

We haven’t had a coach, since Dave King. I know that Doug cant play well with others, so takes about 90% of the coaches available out of play. Let’s take a look at the coaches that we have passed over in the past…shall we?
Bob Hartley, Ted Nolan, and…it doesn’t matter. Bob or Ted would have been a perfect “no nonsense” coach for a young team, instead we’ve got Gallant. I like Gerard, but he is Doug’s puppet and hasn’t made a decision that hasn’t gone through the GM DM decision chain since he was made head coach.

Bottom Line
1. The CBJ just needs to play hard…there is talent on the team, but the best hockey talent is negated by players that outwork the talent. You argue science here people.

2. Coaching. If Rick Nash isn’t skating hard and finishing checks, bench his arse. That goes for any player on the team. Come on Doug…Err…Gallant, accountability in the locker room and on the ice is imperative for a team that still doesn’t have an identity in its 6th year of existence.

I hope that this rant is something that I can look back on in the next 5-6 months and laugh at, but I am not counting on it.


Sunday, October 15, 2006

On Notice - Week #7

OSU - MSU - Game Thoughts...and Rants

Well...they exorcised the demons of past OSU #1's against MSU. The 1998 "Black Saturday" has been replaced with the 2006 "Lansing Beatdown."

I really believed that MSU had already packed it in for the year, but you just never know with never know...

The game was pretty much over after Chris Wells' mother$#cking fumble was not converted into points. So here we go...

OSU Offense
  • Troy Smith - Heisman (Earned and By Default). Peterson is done for the year. Quinn had a good week (by "good week" I mean that he didnt play and increase fumble and interception stats against a service academy). Wolfe decided to lay an egg against another MAC school, which was a terrible idea. Both of Troy's TDs were great...great...great throws and displays of fine quarterbacking. Stepping up in the pocket, breaking tackles, and making throws that just dont look like they should have a chance to be completed are turning into descriptions of a lot of Troy Smith's TD passes. I dont see a secondary out there that has the ability to stop him...and we are talking about UM as well.
  • Pittman. Tough game for the Pitt. He had 48 yards on 18 carries, and dinged up one of his ankles early in the game. While he didnt have the yards, Pittman still made some tough runs and kept the MSU defense honest.
  • C. Wells. Hold onto the damn ball. I dont care about anything else that he did in the game.
  • Maurice Wells. I hope that we never recruit a player like Maurice again. This is not to discredit Maurice, as he is a great player, but OSU doesnt use him outside the tackles, which makes me sad. We should have let him go to Georgia Tech where he would have been used appropriately.
  • Ginn. Finally, another punt return for a touchdown. 3 receptions for 58 yards...ho hum..wait until teams start keying in on Gonzalez
  • Gonzalez. Looking forward to seeing Leon Hall try and cover this guy, because they wont put Hall on least if they dont want Gonzalez to put a repeat from the Texas game on the Wolverines.
  • Robiskie. The best 3rd Wide Receiver in the Big Ten. He would probably be a #1 or #2 on most of the teams in the conference. Prototypical WR that OSU has not had on its roster, since Michael Jenkins.
  • O-Line = Incomplete. MSU didnt put a lot pressure on the OSU backfield. I think that this has a lot to do with MSU not being good...

OSU Defense

  • D-Line. The D-Line looked good and didnt really miss a step with Joel Penton stepping in for the injured David Patterson. Pitcock should be an All-American this year, and it would be a crime if he didnt end up with a buckeye tree in the grove at the end of this year.
  • Linebackers. Another solid game for Laurinitis, but with no interceptions (Slacker). Freeman is starting to look very comfortable, and his ability to read and react to the MSU screen play was huge, as it led to a momentum changing interception (I know...MSU didnt have any momentum, but just for argument's sake). Curtis Terry also had a big stick near the goal line, which was nice.
  • Secondary. Jenkins was all over the place. You kind of get the feeling that the OSU secondary is lying in wait for 11/18, but there are still a couple of decent challenges for the youngsters in the defensive backfield to get a little more experience before Chad "deer-in-headlights" Henne comes to Columbus for another "go-around."

MSU Offense

  • Bright point of the day = Brian Hoyer got some snaps for the Spartans. He will take over for Stanton next year, and should be a good one.
  • You gotta feel bad for Stanton. He took beatings from the likes of Pitcock chasing him around the field to a stationary water cooler on the OSU sideline.

MSU Defense

  • Incomplete. They are not playing defense in East Lansing this year...check back next year.

It was a good day to be a Buckeye, and it sounded like Spartan Stadium was really Ohio Stadium North...even on TV.

In other big news of the day...

  • Auburn-Florida was entertaining. Chris Leak sounds like he is a great practice player until someone wants to tackle him..then everything changes.
  • Penn State - Michigan = The Michigan defense was pretty damn good, but PSU still made a game of it. I dont care how good UM's defense is this year. If UM plays that same type of game against OSU in November, OSU wins by two touchdowns...maybe three. The UM D-Line is good, but using PSU to compare the teams is not a good idea. UM will see a complete team on November 18th...not the patsies that they have been building up their stats against over the last seven weeks.
  • Vanderbilt - Georgia = Georgia is bad. I dont care what the governor says. Good for Vandy. They have a good young QB and WR in Nashville and hopefully they can pull out a couple more wins this year.
  • The SEC is still overrated as a conference. ..and the Big-10 isnt much better...Iowa losing to Indiana...geesh...
  • USC is just a normal college football team. With each passing game, the aura of invincibility is leaving the USC program. Sure, they are still winning, but it is not coming as easy as last year against a standard mediocre Pac-10.


Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Message Board Exchange of the Day

This comes from the Ozone...

Original Post
Remember when CFB teams were not allowed to may make more than 3 reg. season TV appearances over a 2-season period? (m) - Ipse Dixit

Remember when people died from polio? others lived, let's stop vaccinating. * - '96Buck


Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Manningham 86'ed until OSU Game

Brian has the story...

The PSU match-up just got alittle more interesting for this weekend. I am sure that the Paterno-ville faithful are conjuring up more magic urine for those UM fans and band members that are willing to make the trip.

At least we wont have to see how wide open he is until November the 18th when Mr. Jenkins actually covers him rather than watch him run by without a care in the world.


APB: Where in the world is Abel to Yzerman?

His site is down...and massive amounts of twitching has ensued...


Monday, October 09, 2006


A few additions...

"The Rant" - College Sports Forum - Forum page with dedicated space for the Big Ten Fans. It will take us a while to get there, as our 4.8 Northern Speed "40" will not allow for us to get there before the SEC or ACC fans.

Clemson checks in with Danny Ford is God. By the way, 1955 Biff so dominates the other Biff's it isn't even funny.

The Hockey Report - So much little time...Gawd...the Jackets are dishing out so much pwnage right now. 1st Place in the Central...for now...


No Weekend Football for DCfW...I spent the weekend in Victoria, B.C.

First things first...

I didnt see the game this weekend for all those re-cappers out there thanks for letting me know that we onto more skiddish topics...

Victoria is a very cool city. It sort of reminds me of Provincetown, Massachusetts, yet is a lot more liberal (Most would not think this is possible, but it definitely more "left" than Provincetown). Lots of history...lots of sights...lots of food...lots of Pacific Northwest Ales & Lagers...from 'Hefe' to 'IPA'. Came across a T-shirt in a souveneir shop..and thus the rant begins...

You might remember a Molson Canadian commercial that debuted back in the year of XXXX, which was aptly named "I Am Canadian." I had seen this commercial in the past,but had never really thought about the shots on American Culture and politics and that have become more and more annoying from our friends up north. This really reached its ultimate pinnacle, during the World Junior Hockey Championships last year in Vancouver, B.C. The US WJC team was booed anytime it was on the ice...not just when they played the host Canadians.

While I understand that there are activities conducted by our home country, which will not always shine the US in the best of lights. However, there are some things that are just unexcusable from our neighbors up north where 80% of the Canadian population lives within 100 miles of the US border.

Here is the video...

So let's examine the "I Am Canadian" Manifesto...

I am not a lumberjack, or a fur trader.

I think that we realize this as there are not that many forests or large beaver populations within 100 miles of the US Border.

I don't live in an igloo,or eat blubber, or own a dogsled,and I don't know Jimmy, Suzy, or Sally from Canada, although I am certain they are really, really nice.

Blubber = Inuits and other Native Americans you are ok there. What is wrong with Dogsleds? I would own one, if I were able to use it. I am pretty sure that you hurt Jimmy, Suzy, and Sally's feelings by not admitting that you know them...and yes...they are pretty nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a President

No you have a puppet...just like with it.

I speak English and French, not American. I pronounce it "About" not "a boot"

No, you speak American...not English (like the British) otherwise we wouldnt understand Canadians either. It's beautiful how the Brits invented the language and have done their best to destroy the English language in the last 500 years. Please dont act like French is an accepted language. If Quebec was, geographically, the furthest province to the east in Canada, secession would sound like a great idea each time it comes up...actually it still does to most non-French Canadians I have ever met. Actually, I have never heard a Canadian say "a boot" or "about". However, I have heard Canadians say "abou..ooot", but I cant say that I am "agaynst" that.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack

Most "Granola's", like myself, can proudly put just about any patch on our backpack without fear of ridicule. I will say this though...the Canadian Flag is a little more aesthetically pleasing than the "Stars and Stripes."

I believe in Peacekeeping, not policing

Did you ever see that scene with Jack Nicholson in "A Few Good Men"? I speak for the US Military counterparts in saying "Your Welcome" for allowing the country of Canada to not have to worry about its existence with the last Superpower in the world setting underneath it and giving off bad vibes to any country that would think it might be a good idea to f*ck with Canada knowing who is waiting to the South to "Unleash Hell."

Diversity, not Assimilation

You got us there. Every Canadian city I have ever visited seems more like Ellis Island rather than a demonstration in Canadian culture.

and that the Beaver is a proud and noble animal.

We'll take your word for it...

The Toque is a hat,

So is a cap or a stocking cap...or a woolen hat...or a beanie...What is your point?

A Chesterfield is a couch

AKA Davenport, sofa, etc...Come on...You are better than that.

,and "Z" is pronounced "ZED" not "ZEE", "ZED"

See the above part about speaking English and the ultimate destruction of the language. Last time I checked, I have never heard anyone call it a "Zed-bra"...then again...I havent had many exotic animal conversations with my friends up north.

Canada is the second largest land mass,

Let us Americans know when more than 1000 Canadians travel more than 2000 miles north of the US border. It's great that you "got all that" land mass going for ya, but maybe use some of it and we would be a little more impressed. Dammit Canucks...Why do you think that New Mexico is not talked about when American geography is brought up? NOBODY GOES THERE!!!

The first nation of hockey,

When are you going to get that Lacrosse thing fixed? Ok...sweet.


To take a cue from my friends in Badgerland...."That's debatable"...

It more like it is the part of North America for Americans to take vacations in the wrong direction (ie away from warmer climates) and take advantage of a favorable exchange rate...aww guys went and found some oil in Alberta and my exchange rate is shrinking...dammit...shrinking!!!

My Name is "Joe", and"IAM CANADIAN!!!"

Yes, it is Joe, but let's not forget about Jimmy, Suzy, and Sally next time alright ya selfish, condescending prick....

I really do like Canada...and the people are great, but sometimes a little too much nationalism can be a bit of an annoyance...If you are looking for an example, look no further than our friends up north...where red and white maple leaf t-shirt with torn jeans is acceptable attire in the best of Canadian restaurants.


Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Two weeks removed from playing SUNY Buffalo and cries of "playoff" are starting from the mouth of Tuberville

Oh we go again...Tuberville crying....what else is freaking new.

You know Tommy...I didnt hear anybody in the SEC complaining when LSU made it to the BCS Championship in 2003...I didnt hear anything when Tennessee made it 1998 (OSU was the best team in the country that year hands-down..and a late loss killed them in the BCS Standings). I didnt even hear Spurrier complaining when his Florida Gator team was given a do-over against FSU by the Bowl Alliance for its MNC in 1996...even though there is an argument that the title could have been split by OSU and Florida.

This is on you Tommy...quit playing effing Buffalo...and start playing some decent OOC teams.....and on the freakin' road. If Auburn plays Texas in Austin this year and wins, Tommy isnt complaining right now....he is garnering all of the coaches poll #1 votes...not just his own vote that is currently given on the Auburn line of the Coaches Poll. As a Big10 fan, I feel no sorrow for any of the SEC teams. They play in the best weather conditions possible and dont leave their conference settings to play anyone. Strength of schedule matters more in the human polls than any computer poll. A win over a Buffalo team is as about as pretty as a win over the Citadel in 2003. As a coach, you know there is distinct possibility that there will be more than two teams that could be undefeated at the end of the year. Plan for it accordingly, Tommy. Schedule some decent OOC teams and beat them. Dont get you arse handed to you when Southern Cal comes into town. Maybe travel above the Mason-Dixon line to play an opponent. Baby steps...start with Louisville...maybe WVU...and then come up and play the big boys in the Big10. We are waiting for you. We have been waiting for you, but you dont seem to want to play anyone outside the state of Alabama. That is your problem...not the BCS's problem.

If you are waiting for the SEC Commissioner to lead the charge to get a playoff going, why not ask him why the need for a conference title game? If you have that many teams in the conference and parity is so high, why not split off a group of teams into another conference? I'll tell you Sure there is the bowl money, but the money from the conferences adding more teams is just as significant. TV contracts for these mega-conferences with two divisions is ridiculous (Big12/SEC/ACC) and it isnt necessary. Remember when there were more conferences...things used to be a lot easier back then.

Steps to making things better for Tommy:
1. Quit believing that the SEC is the only conference that fields competitive teams
2. Quit crying to the Media
3. Schedule meeting with Athletic Director to schedule home-and-homes with competitive teams that actually attempt to have winning programs (and try to skip The Citadel, VMI, Temple, Buffalo, etc.)
4. Repeat Steps 1-3 Every Year


Monday, October 02, 2006

On Notice - Week 5


More Blogroll Hi-Jinx

I may have missed a few new blogs on the roll...(by "a few" I mean four)

  • Continuing with the treachery that is being a Cleveland Sports Fan....Why God Why?

  • A Florida State Blog ( that thinks this blog's title is neato...that gets you a link immediately.

  • With a cool name like Eleven Warriors, you get a link. Good OSU blog in the making.

  • Anybody that feels this way about Drew Tate.."And don't even get me started on Drew Tate. Since when was this guy the second coming of Jesus Christ?" is alright in my book. Welcoming Second Rate News to the Mighty Blogroll.


Auburn Laptop and Gameplan Found...First Look

Missing Auburn Laptop Found:

Luckily, this didn't fall into the wrong hands...

DCfW has the exclusive insider gameplan information on what was on the laptop stolen from Auburn. We have decided to evaluate these gameplan milestones for Tommy.

  1. [TT] If temperature is less than 80 ensure top button is securely fastened on game shirt and close neck gasket to ensure that no heat is released through neck-area. CHECK
  2. [TT] If temperature is greater than or equal to 80 degrees at kickoff, ensure that gametime sweater is worn on top of gameday longsleeve shirt mentioned above. CRITERIA NOT MET
  3. Run Kenny Irons into middle of USC defense. Makes no matter if they cant contain the corner on either side of the line. CHECK
  4. Leave entire middle of field open for tight end to roam freely without any consequence. CHECK
  5. Attempt to make a converted wide receiver look like a Heisman candidate for last 15 minutes of the game. CHECK
  6. Fool South Carolina crowd into thinking that they actually won, so they can applaud heartily in the postgame. CHECK
  7. Get Kirk Herbstreit to use the word “poopsie” on national television. CHECK
  8. Ensure that Southern Speed “Myth” lives on to fight another day. CHECK
  9. Find way to get The Citadel or VMI on schedule for the next 6 games. IN-PROGRESS…Have a call into Coach Glen Mason.
  10. After winning ugly (we are talking about Notre Dame co-ed ugly here people) against inferior opponent, vote War Eagle #1 and disregard the absolute trunk-f*cking that the REAL #1 team put on I-O-W-A… CHECK


Sunday, October 01, 2006

Additions to the Mighty Blogroll

New additions to Death Cab Blogroll

Buckeye Battle Cry - Canton-based blog showing much love for the Bucks. Keep writing and people will notice.

The Penalty Kill - Plano, Texas Buckeyes Up in this Mutha...funny stuff.

God Hates Cleveland Sports - Someone else who absolutely shares in my hatred of two things. Jose Mesa...and Mike Hargrove's decision-making for not bringing out the best reliever in the bullpen to finish game 7 of the 1997 World Series (that would have been Brian Anderson).

Mistake by the Lake Sporting Times - Freakin' Ditto

Sorry, it took me a while to update the roll...not cool...I understand.


TCB...Buckeye Style

Ohio State - Iowa Observations

After watching the the #2 (in one poll) struggle on the road against a converted WR playing QB and the other #2 have a tough time in Pullman, the Buckeyes of Ohio State absolutely trunk-f*cked the Hawkeyes in Iowa City. That's right...a trunk-f*cking that was over after about the first 5 minutes of the game.

OSU Offense
  • Antonio Pittman - He is just a tough runner. It helps when the O-Line is making holes on the left side of that Iowa D-Line that you could drive a dump through or around. Hell, I think that Kevin Grady could run through them if there werent any stray Rivas-donuts laying around the field. Earlier in the day, Lee "The ORACLE" Corso stated that he didnt think that Antonio could win a game for the Buckeyes....what an a$$hole.
  • Troy Smith - Mr Heisman. I had heard that there were grumblings on some of the message boards (Namely..Oklahoma and Notre Dame) that Troy's stats were not Heisman-worthy. Well, there is only player that can win this year's Heisman with an unbelievable stat-line and his name is Garrett Wolfe...otherwise, it will be the player that makes unbelievable plays for a MNC contender. I mentioned earlier this year that Garrett would be the best back that the Buckeyes face (I dont want to hear about Michael Hart...start gaining your yards against a real defense...not Notre Dame and Vandy). Your Welcome.
  • Anthony Gonzalez - Stud. Pretty soon teams will be keying on him instead of Ginn, which should lead to Ginn having some big days.
  • Teddy Ginn - Not really understanding why he is having such a tough time catching the ball on punt returns. It is starting to feel like he is playing his way out of the first round, because he is not going be getting the ball from a better quarterback than Troy Smith at this level. His route running is better, but his receiving will not be the reason that he is a first round pick.
  • O-Line - Geesh. Probably the most complete game by the OSU offensive line this year. The chemistry is finally starting to come together with this unit, and that is simply scary for opposing D-Coordinators.

OSU Defense

  • Tough break with Anderson Russell. Sounds like he is out for the season. Nothing like having your ACL (speculation of course) blown out on a touchback. Looks like Jamario O'Neal is going to grow up in a hurry .
  • Gholston is still unblockable...yet...still quite holdable. Did Iowa have a penatly? Ughh...Delaney...our officials reached for Pac-10 ineptitude status in this game. I hope that you dish out some punishments. Phantom PI calls on Iowa's first scoring drive, Drew Taint's Brady-ish fumble, and the ever-present Ginn incompletion on a play where not only did catch the ball and was down, but was speared on a late hit (yeah that wasnt called either)
  • Laurinitis - One more interception. They are almost inevitable in every game now. Brian over MGoBlog will tell you that he is the fortunate receiver of a lot of lucky bounces, but I could use the same logic and tell you the entire D-Line for UM is the fortunate receiver of sacks due to an overblown schedule of patsies without a decent O-Line among them, but hey...that's just me.
  • Mitchell and Smith - The old guys in the secondary are playing like Tressel always want his seniors to leading and setting the tone for the young guys.

Iowa Offense

  • Drew Tate - He is a great QB. That is never in question, but his attitude has got to get old for the Iowa players...and fans. He is not a good teammate in the "fire of battle." He made up nice in the postgame interviews and pointed the finger at himself, but he needs to be a leader on the field...and keep his young receivers in the game...mentally.
  • Albert Young - We didnt get to see him strut his stuff. Not surprising as the Buckeyes were up 14-3 early in the second quarter and Iowa was playing catch-up the entire game. Iowa was able to run the ball, but not consistently.

Iowa Defense

  • Slow....really , really, really, slow. Iowa is a good team, but they are not elite. They had a chance on a national stage to make such a statement, but they were in shellshock after the first 10 minutes of the game.

Now OSU gets to play against themselves for the next 6 weeks. Complacency and health issues will give UM its only chance against OSU. Really, I know that UM is humming, but they havent faced a defense with a pulse. I want to see how they react to PSU in a few weeks where PSU will turn this game against UM into a one game season. We saw what Henne looked like as a freshman in the Shoe...he doesnt look that much better...unless he is playing against inferior competition, which has been every game this season, including Notre Dame.