Death Cab for Woody

Friday, April 27, 2007

Wait for it...yeah...Troy Smith is no longer able to throw footballs or walk upright.

According draft gurus Todd Shay and Mel Kiper Jr., Troy Smith has gone from a first day pick to free agent status in the last 18 hours. The basis for this judgement has nothing to do with past performance, which has been basically perfect with the expection of a few hiccups against Penn State in 2005 and the Disaster in the Desert.

The assessment has been accumulated from Todd and Mel tossing Brady's and Russell's salads so much that they forgot what a Troy Smith salad tastes like. Personally, I am not keen to Troy Smith's salad, but most of the draft experts approach a Chester the Molester level with the amount of information and gushing over the flavor of the month talent that can throw a football over a mountain with a set of testicles in his mouth and nine broken fingers.

Mel Kiper Jr. and Todd McShay carpooling to a private prospect workout near you

Let's look at the DCfW resumes of the two quarterbacks that are destined to be the first two quarterbacks taken in the draft tomorrow. Of course, this is all conjecture and factless banter, but bear with me...

JaMarcus Dilfer...err...Russell

Accomplishments inlude being able to being throw a football 6,000 yards underhand. I know this because this is all that I heard about when I watched the most ridiculous media "circus-sealing" ever, during this past Sugar Bowl, as JM faced a secondary and overall defense in Norte Dame that rivals that of an average MAC team.

Hey NFL draftniks, just because the guy is the size of a large condominium in the Seattle-area (if you lived here you would understand) that doesnt translate to on field success. JM has had a knack for not showing up in the biggest of games, especially in-conference. Take Auburn in 2006 and UT/UGA in 2005. These are games that a team with the talent of LSU (which is what we hear every year) should not lose at home or not have the ability to score one single freakin' touchdown.

Brady "I'm Notre Dame's QB, so that means I'm great against Coast Guard" Quinn...

Never has there been a QB that has earned more accolades for buckling in his biggest games each year. The best games in his career have been against team like Navy, Boston College, and Stanford. Notice that I did not mention USC, OSU, LSU, or Michigan. Yeah...basically he has not been able to lead his teams to victories in any big games....

And that just simply screams...pick me first!

In Conclusion...

I dont care about where Troy Smith gets drafted this year, but the fact that he is shade under 6-feet shouldnt make him any less of a high draft pick candidate than these other two that have played in the same amount of big games as Trpy Smith, but have lost twice as many games as Mr. Smith.

Makes you wonder when the NFL is just going to admit that they are just drafting like the NBA...for potential...not performance....not intangibles (unless you Notre Dame QA emu-ish
hair) nor leadership ability.

Enjoy the draft. I will be watching it from my high-altitude tent...I've got to start training for all of the games next year that may give me a heart-attack. The Bucks are going to have some problems scoring points...welcome back to 2002...


Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Where is my mind?

It's freakin' all over the place...

I havent been writing about the CBJ, the OSU Men's BB (that almost won a national almost, I mean not a chance in hell), or OSU spring football.

Yeah, I am a little removed from the blog and have been for the last couple of months. I apologize to my six loyal readers.

But in an attempt to make amends, I come back to the blogging community asking for a second chance to write about things that mean little to many people yet important to very few.

So...let's start with something that I do know and the luck of the draw.

Let's look at the CBJ and it's recent draft history and look at another franchise that doesnt deserve half of the luck it has been granted over the last 15 years....The Pittsburgh Penguins.

CBJ Name-dropping...
Top Brass:
Rick Nash - Most hockey aficianados and causal fans have a least heard of Rick. He is the face of the franchise.

Everybody Else:
Nikolai Zherdev - Columbus' Enigma or Zenigma. Does the term "uncoachable" do anything for ya?
Gilbert Brule - Too bad the CBJ doesnt play in the WHL...otherwise Gilbert would dominate.
Pascal LeClaire - The Grinch that cant finish a season. Fastest legs in hockey.
Rusty Klesla - Every time he is ready to turn the corner, a Kirk Maltby is waiting to check him into an open bench door.
Alex Picard - Couldnt score at an airport spa with $100 bills hanging out of his pocket
Derick Brasard - Drafted in the first round with bad shoulders. Its like buying a BMW with both axles broken.

Of the players listed above, only Nash, Klesla, and Zherdev have provided any meaningful minutes or contributions to make the team better, which is pathetic.

Pittsburgh Name-Dropping...
Top Brass:
Sidney Crosby - Watch the CBC and let me know if you can go more than an hour without seeing a Sid "The Kid" commercial. He scores points in bunches and makes Pittsburgh legit.
Evgeni Malkin - Remember that scene from "Bottle Rockets" where Owen Wilson wonders how one of his friends, who is such an asshole, can have such a nice kitchen.
Marc-Andre Fleury - If you are keeping track at home, that is 3 draft picks in three years in the top two slots.
Jordan Staal - Yeah...that would be a single #1 pick and 3 #2 picks in 4 years.

I didnt even bring Colby Armstrong into the equation.

For the CBJ faithful, let's realize that if the CBJ had accumulated these types of draft picks over the last four years, the CBJ would be in the playoffs. Hell, they would have probably made a run for the Central Division.

So....while we can blame Doug MacLean for a lot of poor management decisions, the CBJ fans need to realize that there is a lot of luck involved in a building a great team. "Cant-miss" prospects are normally in the top 3-5 picks of the draft.

Amazingly enough, I just realized that Dougy Mac has just been fired this evening...

Apparently, his poor management decisions have caught up with him.

Happy Trails Doug....