Death Cab for Woody

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

OK People....Quick Recap Here So Far This week... case you havent noticed (and judging by my sitemeter stats, you havent), I havent posted for a little bit. Apologies, as I have been attempting to get shitpots of work done before the wife and I head out to Columbus on Thursday evening. It is not cheap to fly from Seattle to Columbus, so I have been putting in extra shifts to pay off our airfare.

Thank the good lord we dont have SE Michigan's economy out here. Otherwise, I would never be able to pay off these Delta tickets.

So where were we?

Let's see....there are a couple of games this week between OSU and UM.

The first game takes place this week, which includes all of the OSU Fans and Alumni versus the applicants and graduates of the UM School of Perpetual Bitching and Ironic Rhetoric, which just happens to be one of it's most popular colleges...second to only kinesiology. If kinesiology didnt exist at UM, there would be no athletic department.

When I look at where we stand this week, I see a few things that stick out like a sore thumb.

The Game within "The Game"

First Thing...(HT Double Deuce)...there is this little matter of a letter that some dipshit from the UM Student Association wrote to discuss the perils that involve a trip into Columbus for gameday. I have been notified that there were some inaccuracies and typos that were ignored before this correspondence was sent out. I am not sure if Sue Ecklund typed this motherfucker (yeah this week is making me cranky as well) in Wingdings font or if spellcheck wasnt part of the UM standard MS-Office licensing agreement, but I wanted to spend some time correcting a few of the most careless of errors on this letter.

We are sure that you are excited about this Saturday's football game versus Ohio State, and the possibility of capturing the Big Ten conference title and playing for the national championship.

For those of you traveling to Columbus, we invite you to kick off your Saturday by joining the Alumni Association, Michigan Student Assembly, Division of Student Affairs and other Michigan fans at a fun-filled True Blue Away-Game tailgate. You and your fellow fans can enjoy food, music, large-screen TVs and a variety of arcade games and activities before the game. The cost of student tickets is free with a valid U-M student ID. The tailgate is being held at the Fawcett Center, which is approximately 1/2 mile northwest of Ohio Stadium. The tailgate entrance will be located inside the Fawcett Center. There will be signs posted inside directing you to the Alumni Room and patio. Game-day parking is $10 per car.

We know that it can be uncomfortable being in an opposing team's environment, especially when the stakes are so high. We would like to offer a few suggestions in order to help you stay safe and have a positive experience this weekend:

--Try carpooling to the game; if possible, drive a car with non- Michigan license plates. and dont act like an arrogant prick that can do no wrong while travelling in a state where you are generally not welcome.
--Keep your Michigan gear to a minimum, or wait until you are inside the stadium to display it . especially if you have the constitution of a 6 year-old girl with a skinned knee.
--Stay with a group . and dont act like a bunch of arrogant pricks that can do no wrong while travelling in a state where you are generally not welcome.
--Know and obey the laws regarding alcohol use. , which includes drinking within your own personal limits and not succumbing to bouts of liquid courage on Lane Avenue
--If you are of legal age to drink, use alcohol in moderation. Stay in the blue. and dont act like an arrogant prick that can do no wrong while travelling in a state where you are generally not welcome.
--Stay low-key; don't draw unnecessary attention to yourself. and dont act like an arrogant prick that can do no wrong while travelling in a state where you are generally not welcome.
--If verbally harassed by opposing fans, don't take the bait. and dont act like an arrogant prick that can do no wrong while travelling in a state where you are generally not welcome.
--Avoid LANE AVENUE in Columbus. and dont act like an arrogant prick that can do no wrong while travelling in a state where you are generally not welcome.
--Ask fans and UM administrators to stop sending letters to newspapers and other people in hopes that things will get better.
--Act like a football fan...not an elitist.

If at any time you feel unsafe feel like you are in Detroit, you should call 9-1-1 for assistance. U-M campus police also will be available in Columbus to support our fans provide a shoulder to cry on when your feelings are hurt. You may call them with non-emergency concerns at (734) 216-****.

We look forward to a tremendous game on Saturday. Let's help the Wolverines win with spirit and class.

Go Blue!

Sue Eklund, Associate Vice President and Dean of Students
Steve Grafton, President, Alumni Association
Nicole Stallings, MSA President

Second Thing...
The Dispatch decided to print a letter a whiny UM fan wrote to the editor about their poor treatment in Columbus over the years. It was Pulitzer material. I laughed...I cried. It was a magnificent representation of the what the UM fan evolved into over the last 10-15 years...let's examine shall we?

I am not sure about anyone else, but I was at OSU from 93-98. I dont recall ever hearing about poor fan behavior until 2001-ish. Maybe this has to do with the fact that OSU had only won 2 games in five years against UM in that span and had knocked many of OSU national championship contenders out of the race in November for quite a few years, when UM's season were basically over at the end of August most seasons.

Do you think that they are looking for something to lean on now that UM's diminishing aura of invincibility, (directly correlated with the now apparent lack of self-imploding OSU football squads) seems to coincide with this increased level of sensitivity?

Or do you just wish that every UM fan who is whining, blogging, or playing message board hero about Columbus would heed the simple words below...

Simple...and to the point.

"The Game"

As for the game itself...this is the type of game where a program can turn itself into a dynasty...or can remain on the status quo. If OSU wins this game, UM is in deep trouble on many fronts. First, this is probably the best team that UM has fielded since 1997. They have a competent defense for a change, and, as an OSU fan, this makes you do a double take. UM loses this game and the wall around Ohio for recuits will get a little higher for Lloyd and Co., as well as the chances of HS players leaving Michigan increases to an even greater rate than is already occurring this year. There are serious long-term (duh on the short-term) ramifications on the outcome of this game.

Some of my SEC brethren think that OSU hasnt played anyone this year...they may be correct. I am not sure how the SOS between UM and OSU is so disparate. I guess Wisky really makes that much of difference this year. Good thing we dodged

Regardless, I know that most people want a good close game. I really want a blowout for OSU. I want an OSU performance that is dominating on all fronts similar to 1998, where UM had a total of -6 yards rushing on the day. Do I think that this will happen? No, but I can be a dreamer.

However, from what I have heard from Chad Henne thinks that UM deserves this win. Well, "Deservin' has got nothing to do with it.."...if it did, OSU wouldnt have lost to UM 4 out of 5 years from 1995-2000.

At least UM is winning at something this week...

Let's not forget about the former players taking part in a yearly tradition like no other...

Current Standings

UM = 2 (Chris Perry; Marcus Ray = Garbage)

OSU = 1 (Thanks Kirk)

I understand that there are certain former players that just cant seem to keep their mouths shut, during the week of the game. You have your old "stand-by's" like Cato June...and Cato June (Hey Cato...did you see that? That was Maurice Hall beating you to the corner). Chris Perry brought some new flavor to the smack-talking...and by "flavor", I mean sounding a like a freaking moron. Chris is a great example of what the Kiniseology program really means to a fine educational institution, such as Michigan. Kudos to you Chris...

"Ain't no ifs, ands or buts about it. It's a blowout," said Cincinnati Bengals running back Chris Perry, a Michigan grad. "(Defensive tackle Alan) Branch is going to knock the stuffing out of - what's his name? - Troy Smith. He shouldn't even win the Heisman. He's not going to win his league or the national championship."

Ohio State coach Jim Tressel has won four of the last five meetings with Michigan's Lloyd Carr. Perry even has an explanation for that trend.

"We all know what's going to happen. We're going to win it. It's been long overdue. Tressel's been cheating," he said, laughing in the Bengals locker room. "Hey, we're going to keep it real. There ain't nothing else to say."

All class Chris...that UM education is paying dividends my friend.

Chris Perry's ineffectiveness in the NFL is due to less time to wince with fake pain after each play.

If any of the fellow Buckeye-bloggers are tailgating this weekend, give me a hollar...will stop by with massive amounts of snobby Pacific Northwest Beer and tall tales of good weather and no preicipitation in the Puget Sound region.





  • Classic post, and that's from a Michigan fan.

    By Anonymous iwocpo, at 4:25 AM, November 15, 2006  

  • spectacular post. I'm crying over here from laughing so hard.

    By Blogger WhiteDawg, at 4:29 AM, November 15, 2006  

  • And Bone...that poster? I'm looking at it right now, hanging over my desk.

    By Anonymous iwocpo, at 6:46 AM, November 15, 2006  

  • Fellas...

    Glad you enjoyed. A little pent up frustration being released.

    Iwo...that has always been one of my favorites...

    By Blogger Herringbone, at 8:13 AM, November 15, 2006  

  • ...while travelling in a state where you are generally not welcome...

    Wow !!

    When is Ohio going to put in border control officers ?

    This is just a football game. No more no less. Win or lose...on Sunday Michigan and Ohio will have essentially the same people/economy/culture/future.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:41 AM, November 15, 2006  

  • Anon...

    If you truly believe that the future/economy/culture/future will continue to be the same, you are a truly misguided individual.

    As for the "This is just a football game" reference, you are completely correct. Maybe one less letter to The Dispatch editor or the UM Student Association about poor treatment in Columbus (duh)would make me believe that this is just about football. Not all fans that come into Columbus are treated poorly, but you would think that people are being strung up on Lane Avenue every other year on the day of this game.

    Am I off base about the "not being welcome" thingy? I know that I have been welcomed so eloquently on the golf course in AA in the past, as well as in Madison. Generally (*doing the quote fingers thing*), UM fans are not welcome in Columbus. Does that mean that there are people waiting at the Franklin county line for Michigan plates? No. However, it also doesnt mean that OSU fans are going to toss your salad because you drove a few hours to come in and root for their most "hated" rivalry.

    I look forward to the game on Saturday. Am I going to accost some UM fans? No. Am I going to bend over and kiss their asses? No.

    It's a rivalry. Grow some thicker skin and try not to take so many things out of context.

    By Blogger Herringbone, at 10:57 AM, November 15, 2006  

  • Herringbone,

    So if we come up and NOT act like arrogant pricks, but yet choose to wear Michigan garb, we won't encounter any threatning posturing?

    Good deal. Can we get that in writing?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:49 AM, November 17, 2006  

  • I strongly suspect the Columbus economy will take a strong upturn after The Game.

    At least for furniture stores - couch sales will go through the roof.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:51 AM, November 17, 2006  

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